7 Things We Wish We Knew Before Starting a Business While Married

7 years. Countless mistakes. Hard-earned lessons.

We started Everlasting Creators in year two of our marriage. Young. Optimistic. Naive.

We thought: We love each other. We're both driven. This will be great.

We were wrong. And right. And mostly just unprepared.

Here's what we wish someone had told us before we started building a business while married.

1. Your Spouse Isn't Automatically Your Business Partner

What we thought: "We're married, so we'll work together perfectly!"

What we learned: Marriage partnership ≠ business partnership.

The Reality:

Just because you're good at being married doesn't mean you're good at working together.

I'm a systems person. Detail-oriented. Process-driven. Josh is a visionary. Big ideas. Hates details.

In marriage? That works. We balance each other. In business? That created conflict every single day.

What We Wish We Knew:

Define roles clearly. Who handles what? Where do your responsibilities end and theirs begin?

Respect working styles. Just because they work differently doesn't mean they're wrong.

Separate marriage from business. Have "business meetings" and "marriage time." Don't blur them.

Not every couple should work together. And that's okay.

We spent the first year fighting about business decisions until we realized: We need clear lanes. I handle operations and content. Josh handles strategy and partnerships. We consult each other, but we don't micromanage.

Game changer.

2. Money Fights WILL Happen, Have the System BEFORE the Fight

What we thought: "We'll figure out finances as we go."

What we learned: That's how you end up screaming in the car at 10 PM.

The Reality:

Irregular income. Business expenses. Personal spending. Reinvestment decisions.

Every financial decision became a potential fight.

Josh would buy equipment without asking. I'd panic about bills. He'd say I didn't understand entrepreneurship. I'd say he didn't understand responsibility.

Fun times.

What We Wish We Knew:

Build the budget system BEFORE you need it:

• Weekly budget meetings (Sunday nights, 20 minutes)

• Three-bucket system: Personal, Household, Business

• "No permission needed" amount (we do $100)

• Monthly financial review (are we on track?)

Agree on financial decisions before they happen:

• When do we reinvest vs. pay ourselves?

• What's our minimum income before we scale back?

• How much risk are we comfortable with?

We learned this after a massive fight in year three. Josh made a $2,000 business investment without asking. I lost it.

Not because of the amount. Because he didn't ask.

Now? We discuss anything over $100. Takes 30 seconds. Saves hours of resentment.

3. Your Marriage Impacts Your Business More Than You Think

What we thought: "We can compartmentalize. Work stress stays at work."

What we learned: There's no compartmentalisation when your spouse IS your business partner.

The Reality:

A fight at breakfast affects the client's call at 10 AM. Tension over finances bleeds into content strategy. When your marriage is struggling, your business suffers.

We'd fight. Then have to record podcast episodes together. Or hop on a client call. Or write content.

It was terrible. We couldn't fake it. Our audience could tell something was off.

What We Wish We Knew:

Your marriage is your first business.

If it's falling apart, your actual business will too.

Protect marriage time like you protect client meetings:

• Daily check-ins (10 minutes, no phones)

• Weekly planning (calendar sync, how are we actually doing?)

• Monthly reviews (are we drifting or growing closer?)

Don't let business consume your marriage:

• Set work hours (yes, even at home)

• No work talk during dinner

• One day a week is completely off

• Date nights that aren't business planning sessions

When we finally prioritized marriage over business growth, something weird happened: The business grew faster.

Because we weren't constantly fighting. We were communicating clearly. We were actually enjoying working together.

4. Protect Date Nights Like Client Meetings

What we thought: "We work together all day. We don't need date nights."

What we learned: Working together ≠ quality time together.

The Reality:

We were together 24/7. But we weren't TOGETHER.

Every conversation turned into business talk. Every dinner became a strategy session. Every date night devolved into "should we post on Tuesday or Wednesday?"

We were business partners who lived in the same house. Not husband and wife.

What We Wish We Knew:

Date nights are non-negotiable. And they're not for business talk.

Our rules:

• On the calendar weekly (protected like client calls)

• No phones

• No business talk (we set a timer—first 15 minutes, get it out. Then we're done.)

• Actually date each other

Sounds basic. But when you work together, it's revolutionary.

We talk about: Hopes. Dreams. Things we're grateful for. Stupid stuff that makes us laugh. Anything except work.

Because we're not just business partners. We're married.

5. Pray Together or Drift Apart

What we thought: "We're both Christians. We'll be fine spiritually."

What we learned: Individual faith ≠ unified spiritual foundation.

The Reality:

We were each reading our Bibles. Praying individually. Going to church.

But we weren't praying TOGETHER. Weren't seeking God TOGETHER. Weren't building our business on a shared spiritual foundation.

And slowly, subtly, we started drifting.

What We Wish We Knew:

Praying together keeps you unified in ways nothing else does.

What we do now:

• Pray together every morning (even just 2 minutes)

• Bring business decisions to God together

• Ask: "Are we building this for His glory or ours?"

When we pray together:

• We're reminded we're on the same team

• We get perspective beyond our stress

• We're forced to be humble and honest

It felt awkward at first. We're not naturally "pray out loud together" people. But it's become the foundation that keeps us aligned.

Because when we're aligned with God, we're aligned with each other.

6. The Unsexy Daily Work Compounds

What we thought: "Big wins will save us. One viral post. One big client. One breakthrough."

What we learned: Small daily deposits compound into everything.

The Reality:

We kept chasing the big wins. The viral moment. The breakthrough.

Meanwhile, our marriage was neglected. No daily check-ins. No weekly planning. No systems.

We were building a business but destroying our foundation.

What We Wish We Knew:

Boring consistency beats exciting intensity. Every time.

In marriage:

• Daily 10-minute check-ins

• Weekly Sunday planning

• Monthly marriage reviews

In business:

• Daily content (even when you don't feel like it)

• Weekly strategy sessions

• Monthly reviews (what's working, what's not)

The unsexy daily work:

• Doesn't feel significant in the moment

• Compounds over time

• Saves your marriage and your business

We stopped chasing viral. Started showing up daily. Everything changed.

7. You'll Fight. A Lot. That's Not Failure.

What we thought: "If we fight about business, we're not meant to work together."

What we learned: Fighting means you care. Not fighting means someone's checked out.

The Reality:

We fought about:

• Money (constantly)

• Work hours (too many)

• Business decisions (different visions)

• Household responsibilities (who does what)

• Priorities (business vs. family)

We thought: Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe we're not cut out for this.

What We Wish We Knew:

Entrepreneurial couples fight. That's normal.

The question isn't whether you'll fight. It's whether you'll fight FOR each other or AGAINST each other.

What we do now:

• Fight fair (no name-calling, no bringing up past stuff)

• Take breaks when it escalates (20-minute cooldown)

• Come back to it (don't avoid the issue)

• Apologize genuinely (even if you're only 30% wrong)

• Remember: We're on the same team

The fights that almost broke us? They made us stronger.

Because we learned to navigate them. To communicate through them. To choose each other even when we wanted to quit.

What We'd Tell Ourselves 7 Years Ago

If we could go back to year one, here's what we'd say:

Build marriage systems BEFORE you need them. Don't wait until you're in crisis mode.

Money conversations prevent money fights. Have them weekly, not when you're already stressed.

You're married first, business partners second. Protect the marriage or lose both.

Pray together daily. It's awkward at first. Do it anyway.

Small daily work compounds. Stop chasing viral. Start showing up.

Fights are normal. Learn to fight fair, not to avoid fighting.

You don't need to do it all right now. Build slowly. Sustainably. Together.

The Truth About Marriage + Business

It's hard. Really hard.

There are seasons when we wanted to quit the business. Seasons we struggled in marriage. Seasons where everything felt like it was falling apart.

But here's what we know now that we didn't know then:

The hard seasons are where you grow.

The fights teach you communication. The stress reveals your systems (or lack thereof). The pressure either pulls you apart or pushes you together.

You get to choose which one.

Seven years in, we're stronger. The business is growing. The marriage is solid.

Not because we're special. Because we learned the hard way and built the systems.

You don't have to learn the hard way. Start building now.

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